I Want To Climb Mountains

Here I am. Another Thursday sitting in front of a screen writing another blog. Is this what the new generation does in its spare time? Is this how they connect to the world? ‘Cause I’ve got to be honest here when I say this is pointless in the long run, and you won’t get the fundamental human experience out of it. Is it the attention you get from posts? Do we all crave what people think of our thoughts so much that we make it our lives? Why do we get so butt-hurt when someone doesn’t agree? 

Who cares about what anyone else thinks of you besides yourself? I think I’m pretty cool, and that I have neat ideas, and that people can be my friend easily, and that I’m a nice guy to be around. What I don’t think is that by associating myself with some issue, or point of view, that I will be anymore happy than before. I’ll get a small sense that I belong to something larger than myself, a “big other”, and I’ll fight to the death when someone disagrees with my association. What a pointless life. You won’t convince others who have convinced themselves. Stop trying. Start living.

I’m sitting in my room, window shades drawn so I can see this screen. The sunlight creeps through like an abused dog wanting to be pet. Yet, I ignore it so I can write this for other people to read. This isn’t for me, this is for you. 

I want to climb mountains, and tell the sky what my favorite color today is. Get scratched by thorns, and skin my knees on the earth. I want to breathe in the morning light and exhale my trepidation; touch my feet on a river’s surface and forget why everything else is important. Why I fight so hard for so little. 

I’ve got these scars from living-

Not here.


One thought on “I Want To Climb Mountains

  1. devymon says:

    Nicolai. You have made use of your superior vocabulary- and your diction!? ahh…magnificent. You make my English Professor Soul burst out of my body with excitement! It’s like I developed a sweet, yet rich flavor of chocolate in my mouth when I read that post. To die for, really darling. Bahaha okay I can’t go on like that anymore 🙂

    Truthfully, this is a well written post and I enjoyed the title, as it reminded me of our conversation yesterday. I still want to go out and scream from the top of a mountain to release this abundant amount of frustration I feel!

    I understand your frustration with blogging, but let it be known that you and the rest of our peers cannot keep blogging about hating to blog. It’s almost as bad as having to read “book reports.” I just want to get to know all of you and read something happy or funny or interesting. You’re off the hook this time because I am a sucker for well-written pieces.

    Nick, honestly if you wanted to post a picture of a dog in a raincoat or an outfit you wore today…that would be okay by me. BRING ON THE WEIRD AND INSIGNIFICANT.

    If I am going to waste time blogging, it better be time well wasted looking at weird ass shit and reading weird ass shit. Not too weird, mind you…

    Anyway, keep on living, sir..see you tomorrow!

    -Devmeister C.

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