Blogging. These are the homework assignments I always seem to save for last because I just really do not enjoy them. They make me uncomfortable and I never really know how to articulate what I want to say and how to find the right words for all the thoughts bouncing around in my head. Today’s blog feels especially frustrating since I am at a loss for finding a topic that I am genuinely passionate about. Just a few minutes ago, I read Jess’s blog titled Torn about not being sure if teaching is what she wants to do with her life, and that is exactly how I feel. Every day in class everyone seems so excited to learn about education, reading, and writing and I just feel lost. I thought for sure that the only thing I wanted to be was a teacher and now I’m feeling like I made a huge mistake. I don’t have a passion for English at all, I just became an English major because there is no education major at CSU so I figured why not teach English? Which looking back on it was a stupid idea since I really do not enjoy writing and feel extremely out of my element in all my classes. And now, I’m not feeling confident in the education aspect either. I thought I loved being an education major after doing the teaching program with the middle school students at Preston and loving it so much. I thought there was nothing else I would possibly want to be. But after the short time I have had in my classes this semester, I’m beginning to realize that teaching is not for me. I am incredibly shy and reserved, and the thought of having to command the attention of a classroom day after day is starting to seem overwhelming to me. I get nervous just doing an oral introduction in front of my classmates, how could I possibly stand at the front of a classroom giving lectures all day? I want so badly for this to be my calling. I want to teach, to write, to enjoy blogging, and feel confident in what I have to offer as an author and an educator. But right now, I’m just not sure and that is starting to scare me. Like Jess, I too keep thinking “maybe this is the day I will know”, but so far that day has not come. And for now, I am just left waiting.