I feel like there are many personal philosophies that I’ve adopted. There are many beliefs that I have and I try my hardest to stay true to them. One of my biggest beliefs in life is doing what scares you.
I started really putting this philosophy into action my first year out of high school when I moved to Orlando, FL. Now I was born and raised in Aurora. For my entire life I had never moved outside of its city limits. I tell you this so when I say moving to Orlando was a complete and total shock, you to know just how much of a shock it was. Basically the first month was filled of mental breakdowns and sobbing phone calls to my parents begging them to let me come home. However despite the rough time I had in the beginning, I think moving to Orlando was one of the best decisions of my life. Obviously Florida wasn’t the place for me (I’m here aren’t I?) but doing something that scared me so much made me grow up and put things into perspective. Although it was hard, this experience pushed me to become a better person.
Now that I find myself on the cusp of actually becoming a teacher there are a lot of times that I can feel that familiar feeling of terror knotting itself in the pit of my stomach. Like some of you guys have already posted, I’ve come to realize just how scared I am. How am I supposed to control a classroom of 30-40 kids? They most definitely have numbers on their side. What if I say something to some kid without thinking about it and scar them for life? What if I can’t handle the politics surrounding it? What if I’m bad at teaching? What if I fail? Many of the feelings associated with these questions honestly just make me want to run screaming in the other direction.
For me this is another Florida. I have to remind myself that while I’m terrified, it will make me better in the end. I might spend the first couple months in a constant state of mental breakdown (why are there so many papers???) but if I can push through it I can feel that sense of reward. After all if I never do things that make me uncomfortable or scary, I’ll never grow.
Now to keep reminding myself that…..
Until next time,
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”