Everything I learned about voting I learned from South Park

It’s a pretty common fact that South Park is one of the greatest shows ever in created.  Say what you want about it, “it’s offensive, it’s rude, it’s disgusting, it’s abrasive” but you can’t deny it’s hysterical.  Matt Stone and Trey Parker are comical geniuses.  They ignore every social norm, cross every line, and offend everyone.  I’ll repeat that again in case you missed it, they offend EVERYONE.  That is probably the best part of the show.  No group of people, whether it is celebrities, controversial religions, or politics, is off limits.  Either everyone is okay to make fun of or no one is.  That’s what makes the show so great and has allowed it to be one of longest running shows on television.

When I was in middle school, back in 2004 when Bush ran for his second term, for the first time in school my teachers began really going in depth about how the presidential election works.  They fed us all the usual BS about the electoral votes and all the logistics of the presidential campaign and a lot of other bull crap that I have sense forgotten due to its unimportance (mainly because my teacher was presenting it in biased liberal manner).  However the night of the presidential election, over family dinner I was telling my dad (a heavy conservative) about all the liberal propaganda I had learned from my teacher at school.  Although he was incredibly infuriated from what my teacher had told me, my dad did not feed me the entire usual conservative BS about how every liberal has it wrong.  Instead he sat me down in the family room turned the TV on and said “Son, the truth of the matter is voting is incredibly important and you need to make your own decision on which side you are going vote for.  Although each party is going to have their own ideas for how the country should progress, this is really all you need to know about each of the presidential candidates.”  Then he showed me the first episode of South Park I have ever seen, and to this day it remains one of my favorites.

To an immature 13 year old, watching a dirty toilet humor TV show with incredible amounts of derogatory language is the best thing ever, especially best my Dad was letting me watch it (my mother was not as cool about it as he was).  However, even though it is incredibly inappropriate, this episode of South Park nails voting right on.  In the episode, PETA shows up at South Park elementary school and demands a change from their school mascot, the South Park cows.  The school decides to allow the students to vote school wide to what the mascot should be.  Among the variety of completely logical and viable options there is the “other” category on the ballet, and boys organized the entire school to enter either a giant douche or a turd sandwich.  Thus hilarity ensues throughout the rest of the episode continuing to make fun of P-Diddy’s vote or die campaign, PETA, and lots of other topics.  The episode ends with the best message that to this day describes voting the best way that I have ever heard it.  No matter which presidential candidate you’re voting for, your options will always be a giant douche and a turd sandwich.  No matter which way you vote there are always going to be aspects of the candidates’ plan that are screwed up and viewed as questionable.  I did not vote the way I did because I come from a largely republican family, I voted the way I did because I studied up on both the candidates and decided that the giant douche is the option for me and the best country on the face of this planet.  So go out there and vote and always remember that either way you vote, there will always be some part of the candidates plan that makes him disagreeable. Here’s a clip of the message, but be warned it’s South Park.


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