I never thought it’d be me…

I never thought it would be me,

Struggling with stress and anxiety.

I never thought it would be me,

Gasping for air- feeling like I can’t breathe.

 

This isn’t who I am, this isn’t me.

My smiles are gone- no trace of happy.

This isn’t who I am, this isn’t me.

Looking in the mirror- a Me I cannot see.

 

My mind clouded by the darkness.

My body surrounded by the darkness.

My soul consumed by the darkness.

 

Depression leading to oppression.

Sadness becoming my obsession.

I am not me- I am Its possession.

Keeping it a secret- no confession.

 

This isn’t told with a sense of ease-

I surrendered, falling to my knees

Getting help is what I gave in to.

Last resort, something I had to do.

 

Consuming help every single day,

So that my smile stays and does not stray.

It’s hard to not see this as defeat.

Is it wrong? Is it weak? Or is it a cheat?

 

I am not my condition.

And I do not need its permission

to fill my soul with light of ambition

or to have my mind in a positive position.

 

I am moving forward from my past,

A time in my life that didn’t last.

I have died and gone to a better place-

A state of mind that is behind a smiling face.

 

 

I thought I might share this poem I wrote with everyone just to express kind of what has been going on in my life lately. I know it might have been a huge downer, but the important part is the end of the poem. I just feel like if I am able to openly talk about my depression and getting help for it now, I will be comfortable with talking about it in the future with students who may be going through a similar struggle. 

The truth is that you will probably be faced with students who are depressed and even suicidal. It is important to educate yourself on recognizing signs or habits of students who are at risk for depression or suicide. Here is a link to a list of “Warning Signs” from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention website.

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